Maps, Directions Just Don't Help Here

If I had a nickel for every time I took a wrong turn, missed an exit, or just ended up in the wrong place in Buffalo, I wouldn’t have any money concerns. Then again, finding yourself in Buffalo to begin with defines ‘ending up in the wrong place.’ Not only does the seemingly inescapable maze of intersecting highways, interstates, and toll roads suck away your fuel and your patience, but it also plunges you into an abyss of invisible stoplights and pothole-scarred roads that resemble the surface of the moon. When you pull up to a stop line at an intersection, the stoplights are positioned directly above your car, so in order to know what color it is you have to either press your face to your windshield and stare skyward or just wait for the honk from the car behind you. The potholes – road craters, rather – are so numerous that you find yourself swerving away from the smooth bits of asphalt because that’s the irregularity. Rodeo’s taking a beating. I count on getting lost a few more times here, but soon enough the two of us will be free of Buffalo’s Black Hole Road Network. Where, by Poseidon’s triton, am I?!

Buffalo Beau's Sausage Potato Corn Cakes

Meat, carbs, dairy, and veggies - that covers all the food groups in one shot, right? You're looking at about 400 calories, 22 grams of fat, 35 grams of carbohydrates, and 14 grams of protein per serving. Even if it's not a well-rounded meal, it's at least, well, a round one.

Ingredients:

2/3 package prepared instant mashed taters mixed with canned corn
(eat the other third for dinner the night before)

1 lb ground sausage (get the tube)

1 package cornbread mix (just add water)

1 egg

Brown and drain the sausage and set aside. In a medium bowl, prepare cornbread mix according to directions on the package, including the egg. When smooth, mix in last night's leftover mashed potato and corn mixture and the browned sausage. Dollop batter (whatever size or shape your little heart desires) into a buttered skillet over medium to medium-high heat. Cook to golden brown on both sides.

Here's to you, Earth; Thanks for having me

In observance of Earth Day, the first thing I did this morning after waking up in my Rodeo in a Wegmans supermarket parking lot was grab an empty 2-liter bottle and walk it into the store, where I deposited it in a nifty bottle-processing recycling machine. Some might accuse me of having ulterior motives for the gesture; I did get a five cent credit for depositing the plastic. I must admit, the monetary incentive certainly played a role in my decision. Now I have a voucher for 5 cents burning a hole in my pocket. I think I'll use it on half a peanut from the bulk section when I go back. One other way I showed my respect for the environment today was by consciously forgoing a shower...again. Water conservation is important, people. Aah, it feels good to give back to Ol' Momma Earth.

Mikey, you made me do this

Sitting in Hamburg, New York, I'm wondering why on Earth I've just set up a Blog Spot after swearing long ago never to engage in such practices. The answer is simple: Mikey made me do it. I hope you're happy, buddy. Not much to speak of today, really. The last few days have just kind of melded together, Groundhog Day style, as I wait in the Buffalo Metropolitan Area for word on my approval or rejection for a temporary worker's permit for Canada. My daily highlights include an extended stay at the McKinley Mall for endless wi-fi, challenging myself to see how long I can roam the aisles of the local Super Wal-Mart with minimal expenditures (I'm averaging about $2.78 and 2 hours per visit - $1.39 an hour is pretty cheap entertainment if you ask me), and a day-ending viewing of a Red Box movie on my laptop in whatever parking lot, park, or other undisclosed location my car deems worthy for a safe night's rest. I just got evicted by the Orchard Park PD at 5:30 this morning from the park that I've called home for the last three nights, so I'm in the market for a Wednesday night piece of land. I'm searching for something in the area of 8 by 15 feet, and I'm hoping to spend less than 1 cent. I've got a few different options I'm looking at.